Have you ever felt like you are the dog that gets a swat on the nose with the newspaper all the time?
I can say I have.
Have you ever had the fear of expressing yourself because of the ridicule you know you are going to get if you do?
I know I do.
Have you ever hurt from a barrage of name calling that consist of being called "stupid" or "immature" every time you open your mouth?
Happens all the time.
Do you try to hide your feelings by day and cry yourself to sleep at night when nobody can hear you or see you?
If I said "no", I would be lying.
Hi. My name is Nancy and this is my blog about my thoughts and feelings. Normally, I am a person who tries really hard to roll with the punches. Life is to be a challenge and with a little faith and perseverance we all manage to live it to the best of our abilities. I figured that I could share my thoughts through blogging; to take some time to have a little release of my feelings through writing; maybe share a poem or a short story. I am open to other people's thoughts because nobody really thinks the same about everything. I guess what I am not so thrilled about is criticism of character because I write about my feelings and my thoughts. I thought we live in a free country and that we are entitled to think and feel any way we want to. Opinions are just that... opinions and should be handled as such. I guess it just gets hurtful when a person makes it their goal in life to belittle them because they feel superior over you. Verbal abuse is wrong. I should know because I have been dealing with it for years. It all starts with a little hidden jab here and there, but eventually it grows into something that is just brutal. Sadly, I am not one to tell a person that their little slams here and there are hurtful. I try to be stronger than that. I guess what I am getting at is that a person can only swallow down so much negativity thrown at them and eventually they need to take action. As for me, I thought that blogging would be the release button on the pressure cooker of my soul. Apparently, I am wrong again. There are some people that I have placed high regard upon and every time I make a move, I get stern correction.
As I try to exist with people that feel it is necessary to keep knocking me down, I keep trying to pick myself up. I try to even explain away the reason why people can be so bitter and mean. I have love in my heart, but it hurts. I am that dog that gets swatted on the nose with the newspaper. I try to tread lightly so I do not get swatted again, but I guess I could never tread light enough for some. I am losing the strength to keep this up so I need to walk away, but how can I do that? Just like that loyal dog, there is love in my heart. As that loyal dog keeps trying to change so they can be accepted, I guess I need to do the same. You see, after years of verbal abuse trying to bury me alive, I am still breathing. It is a struggle, but I try. Every blog I share is my battle to fight the fear from the control freak. Since I cannot please everyone, I need this release for me. Love it or hate it, is all up to you. Just respect me enough to understand me with my thoughts and feelings.
Just a few quotes I read today that moved me...
For the "haters" that criticize me at every turn:
If your happiness depends on what somebody else does, I guess you have a problem.
Richard Bach
If you treat man they way they are, you never improve them. If you treat them the way you want them to be, you do.
Johann Wolfgang Von Goethe
And just a couple I happen to like:
If you limit your actions in life to things that nobody can find fault with, you will not do much!
Lewis Carroll (Charles Lutwidge Dodgson)
If a person is to get the meaning of life, he must learn to like the facts about himself - ugly as they may seem to his sentimental vanity - before he can lay hold the truth behind the facts.
Eugene O'Neill
Thank you for reading.....
You are one strong woman. :) Keep it up. :) I got your back. :)
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