Life is short.....

The moment we were conceived, we were beginning life....  The moment we were born, we begin our journey towards death.  Pretty morbid thinking, I know, but it is true.  It is not something we really think about, the thought of "the end" is not something that consumes our day.  Well, there are a couple of instances that the thought does come to mind.  It can be because of depression, fear, or even extreme stress.  To clarify just a bit more, people who suffer from anxiety, depression, or the realization that there is never enough time due to age or current status of health.  We are all aware that as mortals, we are not immortal....  Nothing is meant to last forever.  It is such a sad thing to face when someone really special and important passes away.

For years, I had suffered anxiety.  It all started on my wedding day.  Probably should have been a sign to turn and run, but love makes a person ignore the weird little signs that might be seen as warning to slow down and really think things through.  Those anxiety attacks almost crippled me from ever leaving my home.  Going to work was such a struggle.  The fear of losing control, the fear of dying, and the fear of the unknown were the things that kept those attacks coming.  The doctor put me on a medication that helped ease my mind so I can function, but the feeling I got from them was awful.  I worked really hard to get myself off that stuff and to get control back in my life.  Fortunately, I was completely off the pills within 6 months of taking them.  Shortly after being free from taking those pills, I became pregnant with my daughter.  After she was born, the anxiety came back.  I have a child to think about and to make sure she is safe and prepared for what life is about.  I take my responsibilities seriously... very seriously.  Spending a majority of my energy to regain control in my mind, I suffer yet another blow.  Hearing about other people I know dying, having heart attacks and such put me right back to thinking that it could happen to me, too.  Fear started to creep back into my mind.  There was one person that reminded me that we are mortal, that our time is not decided by us, but from a higher force.  It was my dad.  He seemed to know me so well.  He knew just what to say to put things in a better perspective.  He was my rock when I felt I had no support.  One thing still rings in my ears to this day that my father told me....

"We need to remember that life is meant to be lived.  To embrace each and every day with purpose, because we never know when it is our time.  Some days may seem harder than others, but we are able to overcome life's challenges because everyone experiences the same thing from time to time and they made through it just fine.  If they can do it, so can we."

All of this came about because today would have been my Father's 90th birthday.  On July 20th, another milestone will be remembered...  It will be 10 years since he passed away.  As my daughter heard me talk about him this morning, she reminded me something that forces to make me smile.  She said, "Grandpa is in heaven, taking pictures of all of us.  He would want us to smile."  Pretty amazing that my daughter was only a mere baby at 1-1/2 years old when he passed away and remembers that my dad always had his camera and took loads of pictures.  Makes it hard to smile beyond the tears, but she is right.....