Back then and now.....

My daughter may look a lot like me, but she definitely shows traits of her father.  I was just not prepared to deal with how much she is like her father, academically.  You see, when it came to school and a person's academic career (yep, I am calling it a career - 13 years plus preschool and college, it is basically a long term commitment in my book), it is the focused one that really works hard that gains the most out of life.  We never really get it until we are all grown up, but it is true.  Jobs and salaries that we have potential to earn differ greatly when a good education is in place.  Nowadays, college is more and more prevalent in the working world.  No longer are the days of "entry level employment".  The degree in the 'school of hard knocks' no longer applies, you have to have an actual degree from a college or university to become something that is considered a career.  Flipping burgers is a job, being a doctor is a career....

When I was growing up, I had some pretty strict parents and for good reason.  They wanted their kids to have more than what they have out of life.  My mom never finished high school because her parents put her to work to support the family.  Times were different back then and I can see how history is capable of repeating itself.  Money was tight, in order to survive the great depression of the era, people put their dreams on hold of a higher education and sought out any work to bring in a wage.  Children were taking jobs to help support the family.  What we see as tough in today's age is nothing in comparison to that major crash of the economy.  My dad was off fighting in WWII in Austria.  I remember him telling me stories about his experience.  Life was hard back then.  Struggling like that makes a person hope for bigger and better things for their children.  Since my parents were so strict and I feared getting a good old fashioned whack for misbehaving, I took everything that my parents told me as a serious rule to follow....  Put your education first!!  Focus and do your best and with effort and hard work, you can become something great.  I hit the honor roll here and there, I even became a little lazy here and there when it came to schoolwork.  I was far from perfect, but I avoided getting a belt across my backside.  Fear is what made me driven.  As for DH, I am not sure why he had no fear of punishment, but he loved to be the class clown.

That is what I am up against when it comes to DD.  She loves being the class clown and makes each day at school a place to hone her comedic skills.  I have been getting plenty of notes from school about this and I feel that I am at an impasse.  How do I correct this?  Back in the day, I was driven by fear of getting painfully punished if I did not do well in school.  Nowadays, people have become more passive when it comes to punishments.  Hitting is no longer allowed.  Taking away privileges is not as effective because today's child just does not care.  I have tried reason, but how can a person reason with a child that refuses to listen?  Kids are prone to being in a constant 'feel good' state of mind.  They do whatever seems to be fun and pleasurable.  The focus on what is important is lax.  I remember thinking that my parents were just off their rocker when it came to telling me what is important and what is not.  Believe me, for a while, I thought my name was "your'e grounded" because of my defiant times.  I thought I knew it all back then.  Now I know different.  I just don't know how to get that point across to my good child with defiant tendencies.  Things are so different in comparison to when I was growing up.  I wonder if she will figure a way to get to her child to listen when she becomes a mother.  I fear that the fact is in everyones life, we tend to know more after the fact, but cannot get the younger generation to listen and learn from our mistakes.