Okay, late blog, but figured I should get it out of my system before heading off to bed. Yep, it is after 11pm on a Friday night and here I am..... at home with at least something to read. Sadly, it is rereading a book I already read because I did not go to the library when I wanted to! Yep, my Friday nights usually consist of waiting for DH to come home after his "weekly decompression" session, which consists of beer with the boys, but tonight I had to wait up for yet another person to come home..... DD. Yep, DD went to a tween pool party at the local park district with a friend. I was aware that this pool party was going to be coming around some time this summer, but did not pay all that much attention as to when this shindig was to happen. I get a last minute asking for this thing and figured that she should not be trapped in the house all summer and agreed to let her go. In fact, I was looking forward to some quiet time anyway. I got a some piece and quiet until the 10:00 news and I was going to enjoy it. Her boredom consists of talking way too much to fill the dim of the day.
Well, DD happens to own a swimsuit. I bought her only one this summer because she really does not need more than one. Well, the frugality of DH really only allows the barest of necessities and having more than one swimsuit was considered being extravagant and wasteful of money that is needed elsewhere. If DH can keep such a tight grip on the family finances.... well, I can be just as stingy. Leaves little room for argument in my eyes, and when it comes to avoiding confrontation..... I am all for it.
As the day slipped through our fingers with other things to do, DD asks if I would take her shopping for a new swimsuit. "Really, DD, the swimsuit you have is just fine to wear to this pool party. Why do you need another one?" I ask. "Well, Mom", she says with a sigh, "I am tired of wearing a one-piece swimsuit and really want to have a bikini." I already knew that she is hitting that pivotal age where boys are getting interesting, to say the least. I was her age once and I can remember the desire to dress a certain way to get the attention of a boy I liked. I can only guess that rumor has spread that this particular boy was going to this pool party and she wanted to snag his attention. I looked at my darling daughter and said, "What is his name?" The look on her face was priceless. Like a deer being dazed by the glare of headlights. To break the silence that she finally managed to create after a full day of talking my ears off, I proceeded to trudge forward. "The boy", I said a little louder, "what is is name?"
"Oh, Mom", she says with a stunned tone, "there is no boy. I just want to wear a bikini to this pool party. Why would you think that?" "Oh sweetie, I was your age once", I said with cynicism dripping from my voice, "I am fully aware that this day would come and I am so prepared for this. You may think you can pull one over on your father, but this mama was not raised a fool. I know better. I was you age once." You see, I am a very protective parent. I have been to the local pools and I have seen how the kids act. It reminds me of when I was her age and how boys and girls that used to think the opposite sex was 'yucky' and 'gross' suddenly start becoming interested in one another. Usually, girls notice it first since it is well known that girls mature faster than boys. Heck, I have proof! DH is nearing the big 5-0 and still acts like a child. There are days where I think I have become his mother with all that I do for him. Apparently, I was told by a friend that I probably managed to have his man card revoked with all that I do, but if he had an inkling at how impatient I have become over the years.... he would step up his game and get his man card back!
Well, I knew that DD was going to ask why I always get her one-piece swimsuits eventually, and today was the day..... You see, back in my day, things were a little more innocent. There were no daily news reports of crimes against children, and there were no stories of sexual predators. Chances are, there were probably stories back then, but I never heard as many reports back then as I do now. I knew that I was going to go into mama bear mode the day I became a mother. I have been vigilant in protecting DD from the dangers. I signed her up for martial arts lessons so she can learn how to defend herself because I know that I am not meant to be on this planet forever, nor am I going to be hanging over her shoulder all the time, so getting her to be street-smart and self-reliant was high on the list of what she needed to learn. I was never coddled as a child and I learned a lot the hard way. I figured that if she understood my determination to keep her safe, she would be less of a defiant daughter.
So as I explained to her the reasons why I am not a fan of bikinis.... They are too revealing and leave virtually nothing to the public's imagination, they are not as durable when diving/jumping into the pool, and really..... who thinks it is such a great idea to swim in something that has the same material level as underwear? Okay, call me "old fashioned", but I am not really in the mood for smacking some little pervert if he tries to get fresh with my child. Believe me, I would be the first in line to defend my daughter's virtue, but if I did not have to.... well, that is less aggravation on my part. DH might be quick, but I am quicker.
I know that hormones are to blame. The interest in makeup, the interest in wearing a bikini, the interest in how to dress to impress.... it all has a reason. Her fascination with high heels may have been cute when she was 4, but now it makes me cringe at how grown up she is becoming. Maybe I am not ready for her to be so grown up, maybe I am not in the mood to becoming the worrisome parent when my child is old enough to go out on a date just yet, and maybe I still have a trust issue when it comes to her. She has done some lying in the past, she even kept important information from me, and she definitely has broken the rules when it came to her personal safety a couple of times. Fortunately, the risks have be very low, but I do not want to see the risk get any higher. I understand that defiance is a rite of passage and keeping secrets is her way of protecting herself from waking mama bear from her slumber (I may seem nice on the outside, but poke this bear and there will be destruction in my wake. It is a guarantee.) While I hope that she has enough street-smarts about her, I know that the boundaries will be tested. She has her father's tendencies and her mother's tenacity.... Looks like me, but acts like her father. The stories I have heard about her father's escapades as a child is a concern for me. She may not follow his footsteps exactly, but he was pretty sneaky, snarky, and creative in his escapades. I am just a little more quick witted and aware.
Needless to say, I still did not get an answer, but this mama bear is going to remain on high alert. She has no clue how smart and resourceful I can be. Her friends see it and fear me for it, but they trust me enough to tell me the truth. That is all that I can hope for right now.....
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