Sabotage

I know, I know...  I promised I would not blog about my commitment to lose weight, but I just seem to be wondering why I sabotage my efforts every week.  I seem to do that without much thought these days.

January 1, 2011, I decided to not make a resolution, but decided to make a commitment instead.  Resolutions are just good intentions that fail miserably.  Believe me, I start off great.  I am determined to get to my intended goal and I know what I need to do to get there.  I did not even set up a time limit so I will be less likely to quit trying.  Then why, oh why do I do the complete opposite of what should be done?  I swear, I think I have the attention span of a gnat when I do things.

When a person is trying to lose weight.  It can be 5, 10, 20, 50 or even 100 pounds, the way to do this sensibly is by diet and exercise.  I seem to do just fine with one or the other.  Never both at the same time.  I am perfectly capable of cutting down calories and making healthy choices.  I can measure out what a serving size is and stick to it. Exercise, on the other hand somehow creates an overeating, junk food craving lunatic that has zero sense what a portion size is anymore.  This just results in either maintaining my lousy current weight or gaining a few pounds that I really don't want in the first place.

Now, I decided to be more committed to being sensible in my journey to losing that extra baggage worth of bakery goods that reside on my mid section.  I made a sensible plan and figured I could stick to it....  HA!  I seem to have more excuses than a crooked politician about why I can't just do it.  The excuses ranged from... finding something better to do with my time, back spasms, and still not getting over my sinus infection/bronchitis as a way to not go to the gym.  As for poor eating, I have a few of those too...  Valentines day, picky eaters I have to cook for, and getting bored with eating the same crap each week that is healthy.  Being on a budget with picky eaters is tough.  What I have coined as, "the economy diet" offers zero variety when you only buy what is on sale.

I figured that DH would not buy me anything for V-day was going to be my saving grace, but alas, he decides to buy me a huge bag of Reeses Peanut Butter Hearts.  Damn it!!  Chocolate and Peanut Butter together is so good, it should be criminal that they exist in a tasty candy.  That bag had 30 little, individually wrapped hearts and after I devoured two of them, I learned that a serving size was one bite sized piece.  Feeling bad that I just overate a serving, I consumed 2 more.  You would figure I would have accepted my mistake and save the rest, but my plan of being sensible went out the window.  The only healthy foods I have eaten since V-day were the dinners I made for the family.  Breakfast, lunch and snacks became my chocolate and peanut butter little treats.  So glad that bag is empty and gone...

Today is the first day that I am forced to get back on track.  No more chocolate in my house... Thank goodness!  I have the desire to hit the gym, but after dropping DD off to school, my back decided to spasm.  Sitting here with an ice pack was not my plan for today, in fact, I thought I had nothing to blog about after challenging myself to writing a short story.  That all changed today.  Stupid me stepped on the scale to see what damage was done and totally forgot that this is my time to bloat like a puffer fish.  Man, am I bummed that the darn number went up 2 pounds, but I am sure hoping that it is just water weight and that monthly visitor makes its appearance soon so the weight does go down.  Being the bag of fireworks that now seem to have had a dud in the mix threw me completely off last month.  I just hope that there is not a repeat this month.  That experience caused a 16 pound weight gain that I am still fighting to get rid of completely.  Besides the weight gain, I hate taking pills.....

Since it is remotely nice outside today.  A nice little teaser of spring-like weather here is definitely motivating me to get outside and take a walk.  Once I freeze my spasm to numb, I just might do that.

Have a great day everyone :)