Truth Serum.....

Howdy ho!!

After last nights adventure with some of my friends, I noticed something that I would not normally even give a  second thought about....  Everyone knows that drinking a beer or two is known as 'downing some liquid courage'.  Especially, when you are in a bar and it is Karaoke night.  People love to sing, but not normally with a large crowd of people around.  Some are quite confident that they can sing, others are never really sure.  Other times people tend to seek out some liquid courage is when they are on 'the hunt'.  You know what I mean...  Getting the courage to talk to a really attractive person that you do not know... yet.

Well, as for me, it is not really necessary to have courage, but to let my sarcastic abilities to run free.  To crack some rather good jokes and laugh without abandon.  On every other normal day, I tend to remain on the reserved side.  Sure, I can crack a joke here and there, I can be sarcastic, but it actually takes a fair amount of energy on my part to so that without the help of liquid courage.  As for singing in a Karaoke bar, beer just relaxes me enough to just have fun with it.

I just did not notice that alcohol is a really effective truth serum and a quite convincing way to notice a persons insecurities.  Even the most confident person on the outside has things that they hide from the world, but tend to not notice that having some liquid courage sets those insecurities free for others to see.  It has been said that drunk words are sober thoughts, but what happens when you are not drunk at all?  This is where I see alcohol as being a really interesting form of truth serum without ever speaking a word.

Just for fun last night, my BFF and I were taking pictures of our evening.  It is a way to share the memories again and again.  As we get older, we tend to forget things and pictures are just the trick to tell a story.  Being the random bunch of goofs we are, we decided to try to capture pictures of very random things.  Goofy faces were the draw of the evening.  Smiling nice is so...  average and staged.  We wanted to explore what we are capable of.  That is when the goofy pictures went right into seeing how sexy a person can be.  My BFF and I believe that the truth is in the eyes, so we decided to try to give the camera the sexiest look possible.

Here are my findings.....

You can tell the difference between a single person and a married person.  Well, at least in the case between my single BFF and my married self, the difference is really noticeable.  As we tried to shoot our best 'come hither' look in our eyes, it is quite obvious that I no longer have the talent to flirt with my eyes.  I looked quite tired in a few pictures and even drunk in a few others, even my smile looked strained.  What made this interesting is that I was neither drunk or tired.  What appeared in the camera was the look of deeply hidden honesty about my confidence level.  Even with my hair looking really good and my makeup is perfectly in place, my eyes told the truth that I am a very uncomfortable person in my own skin.  I do not see myself as attractive anymore.  As I have looked at old pictures of myself when I was young and single, there was a level of confidence in my eyes that was quite attractive.  Since after getting married and becoming complacent in my surroundings, I settled.  I lost that oomph that I had, my inner awesome is gone.  Well, after having a child causes undeniable weight gain, I am not as happy as I could be and it definitely shows.  Self loathing has made me lazy and detached from who I am capable of becoming.

I just wonder how I can fix that.  Is it something that I really need to fix?  Is it something that I should fix?  This is who I am, like it or not, but if that truth serum is showing me what is really on the inside that I tend to hide, why would I accept this?  What is the answer?  I guess it is back to the drawing board to figure this one out.....